Blogging again to keep myself on track~

Long time no see.

I'm very motivated to blog again for a while, just to keep myself motivated and to have a good way to use japanese. Again not here because it would just be too much for the few people that are interested in reading my jabbering 😅


Recently I've been feeling very down and as always I was wondering what I could do to make me feel better. This time I decided that it was about time to cut a few people, that where just making me feel bad most of the time, out of my life .
And one of them really showed his true colours after I dared to silently unfollow him when we already didn't have a good relationship for months and also didn't speak in a while.
He was so furious about my unfollow that he decided to send me a really potentially harmful message which showed how he truely thinks about me behind the facade.

But what's funny about this is that what he wrote was mainly a discription of himself,  which he adapted to the version of me, that he created in his mind. Even funnier~  instead of hurting me it kinda opened my eyes about how so many things that others said about me, which really brought me down for such a long time, where also.. in some cases~  just words by people that tried to project their own fears, their own failuers onto me.
I was just stupid and hurt enough to believe those people hahaha..

Haaa so in the end my problem with atracting guys with a narcissistic tendency finally paid of XDD  (We also finally understand why they come to me but that's another thing haha)


Anyways.
Long story short
I am currently feeling alot better. Not because of him, not really want to give him any credit. I have suffered trough my healing by myself, he was just some sort of affirmation.
Still not happy about not being able to go back to Japan, which was one of the issues for my brutal relapse over two years ago..  But at least I know that I have time to improve my japanese alot for the time being and that means my next trip will hopefully be alot better XD

So I want to restart my diarything here and not just keep my lists for myself, where I can barely keep track of my progress.

As always I have prepared a list of things that I want to do, probably won't be able to finish it all next to work and learning but for this week I have planned to:

-Finish a Vocal cover (Only need to edit the video now)
- start working on a new YT vid
- proceed with composing a vocalmelody
-sew something
-translate two lyrics
-maybe start to upload some snippets from when I practise singing
-and a few other things which I'm not gonna write down here

Given that it's already Wednesday, I doubt that I will be able to fnish much from that list but lets see how far I can make it hahaha