Lets try again this week~

 Hellow

The cover is online 🎉



Well, it's surely not prefect but definitely better than everthing I did so far as I found a solution for getting better mixes :D

Sadly I couldn't do much more in the last few days as I was busy with work and being sad hahaa
So in order to avoid thinking too much I spent my thursday with getting angry over mario party and bingewatching tiktok

While doing the latter I actually found a helpful video for me.
Maybe you know that I wanted to pimp a bandshirt a while ago but sadly kinda failed (surprisingly not even that much because of my skills but rather the print xD)
So because I wasn't satisfied at all, I started changing what I did completely some weeks ago and thought that, in order to make it more formfitting I could simply sew a rubberbandthingy to the back.
In the end I didn't do it because I wasn't sure if it would work out, so I haven't touched the shirt in a while.

But during my tiktok time I came upon the video of a sewing/diy channel I've been following for a while. And in there she did exactly what I thought about and it looked gorgeous, so I'm definitely going to give it a try these days :D

Maybe I can also finish another piece while I am at it.. But I wouldn't be surprised if not XD

Other than that I mainly practised music stuff and japanese..
Didn't really manage to do translations but I have several Romajilyrics done, I just don't wanna upload them without the translation haha

Anyways..
Since it's Monday this time, I might be able to finsih a few more things but probably still not all
A few things on my list are

.. Pretty much everything I didn't manage last week xDD
aka

- start working on a new YT vid
- proceed with composing a vocalmelody
-sew something
-translate two lyrics
-maybe start to upload some snippets from when I practise singing


plus newly added
-restart actively practising my instruments
and ALOT of japanese learning.. Only because my fav said he'd start doing twittcasts this month and I know it would stress me again if I can't undertsand it xDD

Yeah, as usual my private list is slightly longer hahaha

Soo.. Lets see how much we can get done this week

I need to get ready for work now -3-

 

 

Blogging again to keep myself on track~

Long time no see.

I'm very motivated to blog again for a while, just to keep myself motivated and to have a good way to use japanese. Again not here because it would just be too much for the few people that are interested in reading my jabbering 😅


Recently I've been feeling very down and as always I was wondering what I could do to make me feel better. This time I decided that it was about time to cut a few people, that where just making me feel bad most of the time, out of my life .
And one of them really showed his true colours after I dared to silently unfollow him when we already didn't have a good relationship for months and also didn't speak in a while.
He was so furious about my unfollow that he decided to send me a really potentially harmful message which showed how he truely thinks about me behind the facade.

But what's funny about this is that what he wrote was mainly a discription of himself,  which he adapted to the version of me, that he created in his mind. Even funnier~  instead of hurting me it kinda opened my eyes about how so many things that others said about me, which really brought me down for such a long time, where also.. in some cases~  just words by people that tried to project their own fears, their own failuers onto me.
I was just stupid and hurt enough to believe those people hahaha..

Haaa so in the end my problem with atracting guys with a narcissistic tendency finally paid of XDD  (We also finally understand why they come to me but that's another thing haha)


Anyways.
Long story short
I am currently feeling alot better. Not because of him, not really want to give him any credit. I have suffered trough my healing by myself, he was just some sort of affirmation.
Still not happy about not being able to go back to Japan, which was one of the issues for my brutal relapse over two years ago..  But at least I know that I have time to improve my japanese alot for the time being and that means my next trip will hopefully be alot better XD

So I want to restart my diarything here and not just keep my lists for myself, where I can barely keep track of my progress.

As always I have prepared a list of things that I want to do, probably won't be able to finish it all next to work and learning but for this week I have planned to:

-Finish a Vocal cover (Only need to edit the video now)
- start working on a new YT vid
- proceed with composing a vocalmelody
-sew something
-translate two lyrics
-maybe start to upload some snippets from when I practise singing
-and a few other things which I'm not gonna write down here

Given that it's already Wednesday, I doubt that I will be able to fnish much from that list but lets see how far I can make it hahaha

Hi~

 Long time no see, ey? :'D

I´ve been thinking about continuing to write blog again for a while now, mainly because would like to practise japanese~ While I won´t do it here, I figured that I might at least post the english version on this page because why not.
After all it might help me get back on track, which is long overdue to be honest...

For the last 4, or something, years I´ve been borderline burned out since there are just way too many things that I would like or have to do, besides housework, work and general shit.
And as probably everyone noticed by now, several issues ~ mainly "lovely people", that brought me fully back into self-loathing, paired with the current "nothing to look forward to, everything is hopeless" pandemic~ I became absolutely incapable of dealing with stress hahaha.

So today I finally decided that it was time to try something that I tought about for a while, but didn´t because I felt like I wouldn´t be able to make enough progress that way (lol, I basicly made no progress at all in the last 2 years so it´s about time hahaha)
And that would be, trying to fit my main-interests into seperate weeks~

 I really have no idea how to say it but basicly I would like to have one week where I focus mainly on music related stuff, the next week I´d like to focus on all that YouTube fuss, then I want to focus on sewing, Make-up and fashion non-sense and then basicly just start with music again~
The only things that I´d still keep up daily, besides work and responsibilities are fitness and learning japanese.
And I might also want to try to give myself a day per week at which I really do nothing at all, which is something I usually only do when I am sick. And that doesn´t happen that much, at least not if we´re speaking of "socially accepted sicknesses". ( Yeah, I know. Looking at my recent progress it seems like I pretty much do this everyday but unfortunately this is not the case haha)


Given the circumstances, I´m not sure if I´ll be able to improve again from now on.. But I´d really like to become the person that I used to be in 2015/2016, before shit started to crumble back down, again.

I´m also it sure how long I´ll keep up posting one here this time (it´s kinda lonely buhu) and I don´t know if I´ll propperly do so during the "music" and "YT" weeks but it´s probably quite a good place for the sewing stuff~ So yay? xD~